The Disappearance of Katherine Beckett
by MakeMyStand41319
Summary: "This case will be the end of me, Castle." He's about to realize how hard she'll fall. Minor spoilers for Knockdown  3x13 , although its not exactly the popular theory to the fabled storyline. T for language.
1. Meltdown

A technicality. A damn technicality by a rookie cop cost her the case.

At any other time, Beckett would have been upset, but okay after a night in her apartment, watching old TNT movies.

This time, however, she couldn't let it go.

If she did, her mother's killer would walk free.

The man had been smooth throughout the entire interrogation – Beckett and he had danced around each other, both playing their part of the law excellently. They would have ended in a stalemate if the Captain hadn't told her about Detective Revere's massive screw-up. Once the man knew he was home free, he pummeled her to the ground, taunting him with anything and everything he had without admitting to the crime. Once he had his fill, he stood up and started to walk away from the table.

Beckett had tried one last time to get him; if he confessed, she could still charge him.

"Tell me…" she started. Then, once she had his attention, he looked him straight in the eye. "Tell me you don't remember her." Johanna Beckett's picture was right below her, lying on the interrogation table. He took a gazed at it for a split second. A smirk fell upon his face, and he looked back up at Beckett.

"**She was pretty tasty.**"

His words were like poison; his laugh, a controlled jab. He baited Beckett; he made sure that she wouldn't forget him, or her missed chance at justice.

But Beckett was hell-bent on making him remember his close encounter with the law.

The man was light enough, and Beckett was pissed. In no time, she had him pinned to the two-way mirror, which was cracking under the pressure of the man's weight and Beckett's anger. Her glare was enough to make the man stop fooling around. He simply stared at the detective, who was still pissed off as hell.

"Detective, it'd be well advised if you let me go." He said calmly. His gaze was a dead one; almost as if he saw this coming and had prepared his response.

Beckett wasn't letting him off just yet. "Like HELL!" she yelled, pulling him backwards in an attempt to push him into the mirror again.

Before she knew it, someone called for her, and a warm pair of hands grabbed her by the waist. She was falling downward, away from her target. She couldn't move; in the blind rage that consumed her, she couldn't figure out a way to cunningly get out of whatever held her and go after the man once more. She tried her hardest to fight her way out of the grasps of her captor directly, but it wouldn't let her go.

She struggled more, but a voice pierced her anger and appealed to her better half.

"Beckett!"

She stopped, finally being snapped out of the rage she felt. She was on the ground, her body enclosed in Castle's arms. She froze, her conscience taking its toll as it replayed what she had just done in her head.

It was a hell that she hadn't fallen into since the day she was told of her mother's death.

Castle, still holding Beckett, looked back up at the man, who was still standing where he was when Castle had ripped Beckett off of him.

"She's so fragile." He said, a dark smirk on his face. "It's such a shame."

"Get OUT!" Castle yelled, holding Beckett just a little closer. "Get out of here, NOW."

Before he could say anything, Montgomery showed up, taking the man out of the room with Ryan right behind him. Esposito came in with Lanie in tow.

"Beckett?" Lanie had asked, rushing over to her. Beckett was slumped in Castle's arms, her breathing shallow, her eyes glazed over.

"What's wrong with her?" Esposito asked. Castle was having the same thoughts. Beckett's gaze was still staring off into nothingness, and she was barely breathing. Castle was scared that she was going to pass out on them, so he loosened his hold on her, but still allowed her to lean on him for support.

"She's having a panic attack." Lanie calmly said. "Damn it, I knew it was too much…" she gently slapped the young woman's face. "Beckett? Come on, Beckett, snap out of it." Beckett's gaze finally snapped to focus on the ME. "Good, good. You okay?"

Beckett looked up at her, saying nothing. Instead, she ripped herself from Castle's grasp and walked out of the interrogation room. Castle never hesitated to follow.

"Beckett, where are you going?" The captain asked, coming back from seeing the man out. Beckett didn't even speak to him as she grabbed her coat. He blocked her direct path, but that only caused her to bash into him and continue walking. "Detective Kate Beckett!" He yelled, but it was no good.

She walked out of the precinct, much to everyone's surprise.

A moment of silence filled the room; no one could find the courage to speak after what they had just witnessed.

No one, that is, except a certain writer.

"Damn it!" He yelled, before sprinting toward the doors where Beckett had just left. Esposito was about to head after her, but Montgomery stopped him.

"Don't." he commanded. "It's not your job to go after her. Our job is to find something to hang that bastard with. His job is to help her get through it." He looked back just in time to see the door marked "STAIRS" slam shut. He took a deep breath. "He's her partner, after all."

Castle, rushing down the stairs with agility he didn't know he possessed, cringed as memories of happier days circulated in his head.

"_I'd be happy to let you spank me."_

"_You smell like cherries."_

"_Shut the front door!"_

"_I love you…"_

"Damn it!" He murmured one last time. He felt the anger that Beckett had felt; he recognized the pain she held. It was a special ability of his to empathize with those we was around; its what made him a damn good writer. And yet, he knew that the feelings he had felt are only a fraction of what Beckett had felt in those few minutes that the entire scene had unfolded.

He remembered her words – she knew that this case would tear her apart. Now, he was seeing exactly what Beckett was afraid of. She had told him that with such emotion that it came across to him as a warning – a sort of caution.

She was expecting him to find her if she was too far under to save herself. She was expecting him to be her hero. And he finally understood every word she uttered to him.

In the course of those couple of minutes, she had lost herself. It was his job to get her back.

He was at the last level of the building. Using the last of his strength, he banged the door open and yelled her name.

"BECKETT!"

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Yay, nay, WTHeckles? Please let me know! –yoto!


	2. Paradise of Light and Shadow

Beckett had practically ran out of the interrogation room. In her state, she barely even saw the captain, and certainly didn't know what she was doing when she bashed into him on her way out. Still, she kept her stride. Before she knew it, she was heading towards the exit.

She advised herself against going in the elevator; she needed to blow off steam, and she needed to do it now. Practically running down the stairs, tears starting to fall, Beckett cursed lightly as she pushed open the door and entered the parking lot.

It was quiet, almost comically quiet given the event that had just unfolded. She looked around, but found no one in sight. She took a deep breath – the only conscious effort to calm herself – before doing the only thing she thought of.

She ran. She sprinted towards the street, not bothering to look both ways. She could have sworn that she heard someone call her name, but she simply didn't care.

She kept on running.

She ran past a happy couple enjoying the lights of NYC for the first time; she ran past a couple of kids discussing the latest video game; she ran as fast as she could for as long as she could. She tried to stay on the main roads, but eventually it became too crowded, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. The lights of time square were simply too much for her, and the world as she knew it began to spin. She couldn't take it anymore; she had to get out of there.

She took the first side street on her right, and instantly regretted it.

The alley she had rushed into was dimly lit, and because of that she failed to see the pothole below her. She yelled in pain, her ankle twisting in on itself, and she fell to the ground hard. She tried to get up, but the pain was killing her. Instead, she looked back at the main street.

There, she saw a man advancing on her. At first, she tried to move away from it, but his voice made her stay.

"What the hell were you thinking, Beckett?"

She didn't have to wait for her eyes to adjust in order to know who it was.

"What do you want, Castle?" _How did you even find me?_

"What do you think I was going to do, watching you walk out like that?" He quipped, checking out her ankle. "I think it's only twisted. Can you get up?"

"Get out of here, Castle." She simply replied. "I don't need you here trying to put together the pieces. I can do it just fine by myself."

"Really?" He asked. "Tell me then, Detective, why you run? Why did you turn into a random alley in the middle of the night? Are you insane? You could have gotten yourself KILLED!" He yelled. Beckett was finally able to stand, despite the dull throb from her ankle. Castle noticed her wince when she tried to put pressure on it. "Damn it, Kate…"

"Let me GO, Castle." She said, her words filled anger. "I'm just fine by myself."

"Yeah, right." His sarcastic remark was quick. "Which is how you ended up here in the first place." He looked down at her ankle. "This isn't like you, Beckett. You know that. Just calm down; we can get this all figured out once you have a clearer head."

Beckett pushed herself away from him. "Just go away, Castle. I don't have time for you or your soliloquies."

"Beckett, please-"

"NO, Castle." She said, anger clear in her voice. She turned to him, pushing him into the brick wall that made up a side of the alley. "I'm sick and tired of all of this. I'm DONE; do you hear me? DONE." He tried to advance onto her, but Beckett pushed him back again. "I told you this case would ruin me, Castle… why the hell didn't you listen to me when I told you to NEVER open that file?"

"Because you needed closure, Beckett." He said softly. "You still need it. I saw that sadness in your eyes; I saw the pain, the anger; it was so clear to everyone around you. You need to release it, Beckett… or else it'll consume you. It'll consume you and you'll never bounce back from it." His eyes were pleading for her, but she refused to look at him. "Beckett, look at me." She didn't move. "Beckett, look at me!" He said, his force contorted into a mixture of concern with a tint of anger. Beckett met his gaze with one of hatred and darkness; the writer swore he had only saw that kind of glare in the eyes of the criminals at Rikers. It wasn't the Katherine Beckett he knew anymore; he doubted that anyone knew the Beckett standing before him.

Katherine Beckett, at that moment, was a scared, angry kid; the Beckett the real Kate swore she would never turn into ever since her mother's murder. He knew she wasn't herself – he knew that from the start of the events in the interrogation room – but he hadn't known just how out of it Beckett was until that moment, with her eyes locking with his. He saw how much anger possessed her, how much pain engulfed her; he understood everything.

And now he knew what to do.

"Beckett, you can't walk on that." He said, pointing to her ankle. "I can get us a tai, and then we'll go home, alright?" He extended his hand.

Beckett's glare softened as she tried to figure out what to do. She couldn't run anymore – physically, at least. The run throughout Manhattan had tired her out, and her ankle was still killing her. She didn't see any other choice.

She had tried so hard to run away, she realized, but once again Castle had interfered with her thoughts, her plan. _Typical._ She couldn't help thinking, as the first tear started to form. She was about to linger on just why she was crying when she looked up and found that his hand was still extended towards her. He was waiting ever so patiently for her consent. He was waiting for her to put her hand in his.

Tentatively, she took his waiting hand with a nod. The tears that fell softly were ignored by Castle as he helped her out of the alleyway and back to the busy streets New York was famous for. After some time, Castle was able to hail a cab.

After helping Beckett in, he climbed in, too. Whispering an address into the driver's ear, he sat back and looked at Beckett's form slumped onto the seat; the adrenaline from the events of the night had stopped, allowing her body to shut down and try to recover.

Castle, risking the trouble he could be in should it go poorly, put his arm around her. She instinctively snuggled closer to him, the warmth more comfortable than the city's cold winter temperature.

Looking down at her sleeping form, Castle had remembered the words the man had told him.

_She's so fragile… its such a shame._

"She's not fragile." He said out loud. The driver took a glance at him before deciding it was better off not knowing and continued the drive in silence. Castle finished his thought in his head.

_She's not fragile… she's extraordinary._

_

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_

Hey guys, Yoto here. Just want to thank you all for the really awesome reviews, story likes, alerts, etc.! After the massive amount of support overnight, I couldn't stop writing. Oh, and a disclaimer – I don't own anything (full disclaimer in profile, but basically I don't own anything at all); this also includes a map of New York City. (Do we even know where the 12th precinct is located anyway…?) So, I'm sorry if it doesn't seem realistic to native NYC'ers.

Anyway, Yay? Nay? WTHeckles? Please review! Thanks again! -yoto


	3. Just Be Friends

**After a long hiatus, we're back to our regular scheduled programming.** Please excuse the delay; real life got in the way and I honestly couldn't bring myself to write another chapter due to academic-induced writer's block. I hope that this suffices and I'm truly sorry for not updating until now. Please enjoy this next chapter, and don't forget to review! - Yoto

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Beckett was trapped in her own nightmare.

Her mind had transported her to a darkened alleyway. The walls were brick, and a dumpster to her left side let off a disgusting odor that made Beckett note to never complain about decompsition's smell ever again. She walked forward, trying to figure out just where she was, how she got there, and how she can get out.

That's when she heard the gunshot.

She quickly jumped to the side and hid behind the dumpster. She took a moment to catch her breath before looking back up to see her assailant. Lucky her, the man had just walked into the light. Unluckily for her, she didn't need to see his face to know who he was; the "WRITER" vest of his had already cleared up his identity.

"Castle?" Beckett asked, slowly getting up from behind the dumpster. "Castle, what's -" The writer aimed the gun at her again. "Whoa!" she yelled, eyes wide and hands fliying up into the air. "Put that d_own_, Castle. Now." She said.

Richard Castle continued to aim the gun at his muse. He spoke.

"_What if I let her down?"_

That made Beckett froze; it wasn't Castle's voice that escaped his lips; rather, it was _her own._ He took a shot - missed by a few inches - and she sprinted back behind the dumpster.

"What the HELL is going on?" She asked out loud. But before she could do anything, Castle was there, aiming the gun at her head. She recognized the gun as her own.

"_It's not your fight."_ He said simply, Beckett's own voice taunting her. She ran away from him just as the gun went off and started sprinting to the other side of the alley.

_There's gotta be an end to this._ She thought, looking behind her to see that Castle was now giving chase._ Just keep moving._

She ran as far as she could go, looking back periodically to see if the writer-turned-homicidal Castle was still following her. He was, and each time she turned to find him, he spoke in her voice, throwing words vaugley familiar at her along with a bullet.

"_Why do you keep coming back?"_

" _I've put a lot of people in this place..."_

_"Always."_

Some of them, she realized, didn't even make sense to her, but they all continued in her own voice, taunting her as she ran from them. All she knew was that they grew louder and louder as she ran, meaning that Castle was never too far behind her. _He never has been too far behind, anways; why start now?_ She mused.

She stopped dead when she reached the end of the alley - a brick wall. _This alley was a dead end the whole time?_ She asked herself increduously. _Shit!_ She turned back around slowly, knowing that Castle would be there. She put her hands in the air as he spoke again.

_"You touch my mother's case and you and I are done."_

She didn't have time to react as he aimed carefully and pulled the trigger.

Beckett awoke with a start, gasping for air. She looked around the unfamiliar room franticaly, not at all sure of where she was. When she saw Castle staring at her, she immediatley jerked backwards in the bed, hurting both her ankle again and her back as she hit the wall.

"Beckett?" he asked, attempting to come nearer to her.

"Don't come near me!" She yelled, heavily breathing.

"Calm down; you're in my apartment." He said soothingly. "It's fine, you're safe. Just take a breather." She eventually calmed down. "Nightmare?" he asked.

"Yeah... it was-" she stopped herself and looked at him. She changed her tune. "Nothing. Don't worry about it, Castle."

He glared at her. "This isn't the first time a nightmare has happened to you, is it?" She said nothing. "Have you told anyone?" Still nothing. "Kate - "

"It's _fine_, Castle. Nothing to worry about." She tried. "_I'm fine._"

"You do realize that that is the most common lie in the history of lies - 'I'm fine'?" He asked. "Everyone says it; hell, everyone says it at least once a day. _The real question is, do we mean it?_ Everyday, you walk through those precinct doors, grab your coffee, and pretend like everything's fine. _Nothing is fine, Beckett._ When it comes to this world, _nothing is fine_. And yet, we pretend it is - anything from the monsters in our closets to the hearts on our sleeves, we pretend like everything's fine when it _just isn't_. I know that your mother's case is something you don't like sharing. I get it. But you _have to tell someone, Beckett._ It's already claimed you today; we can't lose you again."

"We?" she asked, vaugley amused by his soliloquy. "Who's 'we', Castle?"

"Esposito, Ryan, Montgomery, Lanie, me... Josh." He said. He saw her flinch. "Does Josh even know?"

Beckett shook her head. "He's off saving the world. I don't want to worry him."

"So, Josh doesn't know, and you're _clearly_ not talking to anyone at the precinct." He stated, as if repremanding a child. "You _need to talk to someone, Beckett._ Before it's too late."

"What if it's _already_ too late, Castle? What if I'm beyond 'fragile'? What if I'm broken?" She yelled, her emotions taking over.

Castle stood. "You are NOT BROKEN!" He yelled. "You are the most extraordinary woman I've ever met and I _refuse_ to allow you to walk through the fire and throw your life away! I promised your friends I wouldn't let that happen, and it's not gonna happen, alright? You are not broken." His eyes where watery now, and he had to turn away. "Just... get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning." He walked out of the room, turning off the light and slamming the door shut. He left his muse sitting there, shocked.

On the other side of the door, the writer was sliding down to the floor, his head in his hands, tears silently flowing to the wooden floor. Alexis and Martha, who had awoken to the sound of the two yelling, comforted their own.

"It's going to be okay." Castle said, looking at Martha and Alexis. "It's gotta be."

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Yay? Nay? WTHeckles? Please review! Thanks! - yoto

_(PS - if there is any type of error - spelling, grammar, etc - please let me know. The program I was using to write fails to have spell check. Thanks!)_


	4. World is Mine

The final chapter has now arrived... I hope you all enjoy! - yoto

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Alexis Castle awoke the next day staring out the window of her bedroom. She sighed, thinking about what happened last night.

_Almost like something out of Dad's books._ She thought, thinking back. _As dramartic as I'd imagine from him... I wonder how he's doing?_

"Alexis?"

The young Castle turned around to find Martha Rogers standing there, a small smile on her face. Alexis smiled back. "Good morning."

"Morning, kiddo." Martha said. "Did you get some sleep?"

"Yeah, a little." Alexis replied, looking at the clock. 10 AM. _Everything happened at 3 AM._ She thought. _I've been asleep for 7 hours._ She turned back to her grandmother. "I'm sorry I woke up so late."

"Oh, sush, it's fine." She replied, "I actually turned off your alarm when I woke up; I figured you needed some sleep."

"It was a long night." Alexis admitted. "How's the lovley couple doing?"

"Beckett's awake, your father is not." Martha explained. "Typical for the man, up at the crack of noon... anywho, the detective made us breakfast. She asked if you would join us."

Alexis hopped out of bed. "Aren't we supposed to be mad at her or something?"

"I doubt it... she's had a tough week, from what I've heard from Rick." Martha moved so her granddaughter could leave her room. "Let's allow her to be innocent until proven guilty by your father, alright?"

The conversation ended as they walked to the kitchen counter, the aroma of freshly-made bacon and eggs permeating the apartment. Katherine Beckett looked up from the stove, a small smile on her face. Alexis somewhat smiled back, more focused on the food than the awkwardness of the situation at hand. "It smells delicious, Detective Beckett!" She exclaimed.

"Thanks, Alexis." The muse replied, looking back at the stove as she prepared something in a frying pan. "I figured it's the least I can do, since you guys were so kind as to give me a place to stay for the night." She stopped shaking the pan and took a moment. "I'm sorry for intruding last night... it wasn't your problem, and I'm fairly sure you two got as much sleep as I did -"

"-which isn't much, I take it." Alexis said. "I can see that you're still tired." Beckett said nothing. "As for your apology, Detective... it's as heartfelt as it is unnessicary. Even though we don't see you often - my grandmother and I - we still care about you. Your apart of our admittidly dysfunctional family, wether you like it or not." She took a piece of bacon. "Anyway... what's in the pan?"

Beckett chuckled. "I made an omlette for Martha - would you like one too?" She lifted the pan off the stove slid the omlette off of it and onto a plate, where both Alexis and Martha could see it. It made both female Castle's mouths water.

"Yes, please!" Alexis said as Martha took her omlette away from the counter.

The next couple of hours went by smoothly, with Beckett able to rest a bit more since she found that Captain Montgomery gave her the weekend off. The three women talked a bit about general events in their lives - Alexis' new boyfriend, Martha's new project, the latest prank pulled at the 12th. They shared funny story, happy stories, anything positive that they could think of.

All the conversation ended when they heard a groan coming from upstairs.

"Ah, it's about time." Martha mused, looking at the clock. "It's 1PM. Honestly, I don't know where he inherited his laziness. The man wouldn't wake up at 8AM if the place was on fire." She chuckled.

A couple of minutes later, the writer arrived downstairs, looking past where the ladies were sitting and instead heading towards the fridge. He emerged from the kitchen with a carton of milk and a glass. That's when he first looked at the three women sitting in the living room, staring at him.

"Oh, hey, guys." He said, nodding toward them.

"Hey yourself." Alexis replied. "Did you sleep well?"

He shook his head. "Nope. And I doubt any of you faired any better." He took another sip of milk. "Beckett." He said. "I think it's time to talk."

_Here it comes. _ Beckett thought to herself, gulping quietly. "Sure." She replied, looking toward Martha and Alexis.

Martha was the first to get the hint. "Come on, kiddo, I think you and I need to leave."

"Wha-?" Alexis started, getting partially dragged by her grandmother to the door. "But, I wanna make sure Dad's-" She was cut off by a sharp look by her father. The two left in a hurry, the door closing behind them as they left the loft.

The writer and his muse stared at each other for a minute, neither of them saying anything. Beckett looked straight towards him, but Castle gazed into his half-empty glass of milk. He sighed, chugged the rest down, and went over to the sink.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, washing the glass out. His voice was restrained, not as calm as he would of liked for it to have been.

"Better." She responded. A fake laugh. "My ankle's all healed, and I actually got some sleep. I'm better than what I've been in a while, Castle."

The writer nodded. "That's good. Great, even." He smiled at her, but it never reached his eyes. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

But Beckett stared. "No, you're not." she replied calmly. "You're pissed; I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. So, let's just get this out in the open, alright? One last go around."

Castle didn't even hesitate to start unloading on her. "I was scared for you, Beckett. I was never angry, never pissed - I was concerned for you. You just went off the walls, and you left the Precinct, and you didn't even know where you were going! I-"

"I'm sorry, Castle." There, she said it - no sarcasm, no attitude; a simple, quiet apology that made even the writer become speechless. Seeing that he wasn't talking, Beckett continued. "I know what I did was stupid, and I know that my emotions got too far away from me. I never meant to go that far; once I lost it, I just... I couldn't get it back. Not there, not inside that interrigation room. I had to run." She walked towards him lowly. "I just didn't expect anyone to come running after me." She eventually ended up right next to the writer, who was stopped at the sink.

He smiled, and this time it was legitamate. "You do realize that Esposito was ready to kill that guy, right? If I didn't go after him, he would have."

Beckett laughed. "You? You couldn't even take down a puppy, let alone a suspect!"

He played along. "Oh, that hurt. I honestly think you wounded me with your sarcasm this time." He shrugged. "And puppies are too cute! Who would want to take down a puppy?"

They laughed for a second, the tension finally broken. Beckett looked out a window for a second while Castle just looked at the perfection that was Katherine Beckett. He looked straight into her eyes as she turned to look at him suddenly.

"Thanks." she said. "Thanks for... everything, Castle. Thanks for not giving up on me."

He smirked.

_**"Always."**_

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Thanks to everyone who's read. I'm greatful for being able to finish this story with such support. Cheers! -Yoto


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